The Origin Story
A love story told in three acts of endearing clumsiness.
The Cafeteria Catastrophe
It was 2001. Dan Johnson, a 27-year-old engineering student with more confidence than coordination, spotted Lisa Davis across the college cafeteria. She was reading Pride and Prejudice, completely absorbed, wonderfully oblivious to everything around her.
Dan decided this was his moment. He'd walk by, casually glance her way, maybe say something witty. A flawless plan.
He tripped over a chair. His entire tray -- meatloaf, mashed potatoes, an orange juice with commitment issues and a loose lid -- launched forward in what witnesses describe as "a beautiful arc" and landed squarely on Lisa's book.
There was a pause. The cafeteria went quiet. Mashed potatoes dripped from page 147.
Dan, still on the ground, looked up and said: "So... come here often?"
"You Owe Me a Book"
Dan showed up the next day with a brand-new copy of Pride and Prejudice. And a coffee. And an apology that went on for about four minutes too long.
Lisa accepted the book. Then the coffee. Then, somehow, a dinner invitation -- though she maintains to this day that she only said yes because "the mashed potatoes ruined a really good chapter and he owed me a meal too."
Their first date was at a diner three blocks from campus. Dan wore his best flannel. Lisa brought the replacement book in case the date was bad and she needed an escape plan.
She never opened it.
The Second Trip
Three years later, Dan decided to propose. He'd bring Lisa back to the same cafeteria. He'd planned a speech. He'd practiced in the mirror. He'd even bought new shoes so he wouldn't trip this time.
He tripped anyway.
Different chair. Same result. Down he went, ring box flying out of his pocket, skidding across the floor to Lisa's feet.
She picked up the ring, looked at Dan sprawled on the floor -- again -- and said:
Reader: she did not get him better shoes. He's been wearing white New Balance ever since. The universe has a sense of humor.